36. Learning to Breathe Again: Sobriety, Survival & Humor with Sarah Marie Shoulak

Written By Emma Goff

What does it actually look like to rebuild your life—one decision at a time?

In this deeply honest and unexpectedly light conversation, I sit down with Sarah Marie Shoulak—speaker, artist, and author of the memoir Dead Serious: How Death Made Me Laugh at Life. Sarah shares her story of choosing sobriety at 27, navigating toxic environments, and learning how to feel again after years of numbing.

We talk about the moments that don’t make it into highlight reels—the ones where you’re sitting on a metaphorical (or literal) front step, realizing no one is coming to save you… and that maybe, you’re the one who can.

But this isn’t just about survival. It’s about learning how to hold grief and joy at the same time. How to find humor in the hard. And how to build a life that actually feels like yours.

In this episode, we cover:

  • What it really means to choose sobriety (and why it’s not a “magic fix”)

  • The myth of the “rock bottom” moment

  • Learning to listen to your body after years of disconnection

  • Why healing often gets harder before it gets better

  • The reality of toxic relationships—and how to leave

  • Grief beyond death (loss of identity, relationships, expectations)

  • Finding your personal version of whimsy in hard seasons

  • Nervous system regulation when life feels overwhelming

  • The power of small, daily rituals

  • Why you don’t need permission to change your life

A few mic-drop moments:

“If that didn’t make me drink, nothing will.”

“You don’t have to prove your pain is bad enough to leave.”

“No one is coming to save you… but you can save yourself.”

“You’re never too young to change your life.”

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The views and opinions expressed by guests on The Cyclical Doula Podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views of Emma Goff or Emmamma LLC. This podcast is intended for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical advice.

Emma Goff
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35. The Rebellion That Changed Her Life: Kourtney Rider on Cycles, Fertility & Finding Answers